Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Resetting Expectations

This is a new one for me... I tried so long to make the typical "marriage+kids+house+job" gig work that I'm struggling with learning to accept that my future (heck, my *NOW*) isn't going to be what I had originally planned or expected.
That doesn't necessarily make it bad, but I'm finding it harder than I anticipated.  I guess letting go of some of my little-girl happy ending fairy tales is something that is going to take time.  I hope I can be patient with the process and come to accept that a different path can bring just as much happiness as what I orginally thought I was signing up long ago. I'm lucky that I have some good friends who listen to me air my fears, my frustrations, and still manage to instill in me optimism in the future. 

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Pathetic, Self-Serving Survival Message for Valentine's Day

Right now, out there, the someone I'm looking for is looking for someone like me.
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Monday, February 8, 2010

Sometimes you just need to pamper yourself...

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Does “what comes around” really “go around”?

I have been having a lot of discussions with friends lately about this particular topic. You can call it karma, fate, destiny, etc. but is it real? Or is everything just a series of random coincidences with no master plan involved? For me, what it boils down to is a matter of faith. Mine has been tested lately, but I have a hard time letting go of something I really believe in and I’m trying to determine whether is just pure stubbornness on my behalf, or if I just have a deeper well of faith than I give myself credit for. Am I naïve in thinking that if I do what is right, if I am a good person, if I try my best that things will work out? I have church-going friends and family who advise me in certain situations to “lift it up to the Lord”. I feel guilty doing that because I get discouraged when I don’t hear anything *back* and I give up. I envy people who can go to a quiet place and feel the presence of something powerful that can guide them. I’d settle for even a subtle nudge.